The best money jokes

Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
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has 70.55 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money, political, weather
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: business, men, money, viagra
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, money
Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" She said, "Nope, just found one!"
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, Yo mama
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.24 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
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