The best money jokes

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
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More jokes about: car, god, marriage, money, women
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
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More jokes about: democrat, money, political, tax
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, men, money, viagra
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
Vote: has 69.49 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, kids, money
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 69.46 % from 195 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Vote: has 69.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips." He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..." He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.
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More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel


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