The best money jokes

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, money, work
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
Vote: has 70.01 % from 206 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, money, school
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, work
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
Vote: has 69.95 % from 688 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, god, marriage, money, women
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bible, death, money
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, money, stupid, wife, women


<<<32333435
More jokes →
Page 32 of 83.