The best money jokes

Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money, technology
A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door. The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door. The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door. A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor." "What?" askes the blonde. "Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man. The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her tits for the man at the door. "Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500. The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower. As he steps out, he says "Hey hun? I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
An eminent doctor successfully attended a sick child. A few days later, the grateful mother called on the physician. After expressing her realization of the fact that his services had been of a sort that could not be fully paid for, she continued: "But I hope you will accept as a token from me this purse which I myself have embroidered." The physician replied very coldly to the effect that the fees of the physician must be paid in money, not merely in gratitude, and he added: "Presents maintain friendship: they do not maintain a family." "What is your fee?" the woman inquired. "Two hundred dollars," was the answer. The woman opened the purse, and took from it five $100 bills. She put back three, handed two to the discomfited physician, then took her departure.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote: has 67.69 % from 1206 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work


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