The best money jokes

Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, food, money
Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine." The doctor was very much pleased. He asked: "Did it really help you?" Patient: "It helped me wonderfully." Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?" Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, doctor, money
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
Vote: has 66.75 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, money
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money


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