The best money jokes

Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, memory, money, work
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, money
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 66.56 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
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