The best money jokes

Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, money, political, republican
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, money, work
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, money
A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise. There are three other companies after me.’ ‘Is that so?’ says the manager. ‘And what companies are those?’ The worker replies, ‘The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.’
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist