The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple. If you use the short form, the government gets your money. If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
Your mom is so stupid she thought Nickelback was a refund.
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.