The best money jokes

A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
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has 64.18 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep. The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay. The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, work
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
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