The best money jokes

Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money, Yo mama
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, hunting, money
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
Vote: has 58.72 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, money, women
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, old people, time
‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, music, teacher
Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money