The best money jokes

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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More jokes about: football, kids, money
A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?" The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, "Well, thank ya Ma'am. I'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before." "The woman replied, "Don't be flattered ...take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
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More jokes about: animal, money
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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More jokes about: animal, money
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: democrat, money, tax
A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service. “There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.” He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, old people
How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mexican, money, racist


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