The best money jokes

After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: game, money, women
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life, money, work
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: husband, money, wife
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the police.’ ‘I would,’ says the man. ‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
An young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. After sex the girl said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'am actually a hooker, and I charge $100 for what we just did." The man retorted, "And I should have mentioned this before, but I'am actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $200."
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has 58.65 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: money
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
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