The best money jokes

Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, easter, money, Santa, stupid
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: money
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama
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