Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
‘Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.’ Jay Leno
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she considers the give-a-penny/take-a-penny cups part of her own "Save Yo' Mama" foundation.
Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?" Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY." Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."