The best money jokes

Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.50 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, she rolls her own tampons.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, travel
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
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