The best money jokes

Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, money
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: divorce, money
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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has 56.98 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: doctor, mechanic, medical, money
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
‘Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.’ Jay Leno
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, technology
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: husband, money, wife
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
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