The best morbid jokes

What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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has 34.92 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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has 32.82 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead? A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
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has 32.79 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, morbid, time
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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has 32.75 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit. They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
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has 31.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, morbid
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan? A: With a dustpan.
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has 31.91 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, morbid, racist
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
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has 31.14 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 30.85 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, sex
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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has 30.74 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
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