What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead? A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit. They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan? A: With a dustpan.
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.