Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers.
The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.
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