Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
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Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers.
The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.
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Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
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