New jokes

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor..."
has 86.34 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes.
has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cop, dog
Received a call from a recruitment lady. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you." Me: "Yes I Know." *Awkward silence* She: "Asshole" Me: "I prefer the other one."
has 78.75 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: dirty, work
What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired.
has 65.00 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
I never wanted to believe my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
has 82.39 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: work
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
has 83.46 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, wife
I would make a Sodium joke But Na
has 34.35 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: chemistry
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed. My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count." Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
has 26.20 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: family, kids
My math teacher called me average... How mean!
has 34.91 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: math
I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep...
has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: poems

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