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What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas
Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.
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has 31.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account! Me: Yeah that was me Gmail: No it was on another device! Me: Yes my tablet Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?! Me: What? No! Gmail: Call the police
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: cop, internet, IT
My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. "You're coming home now!" she screamed. "No, I'm not," I laughed. She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids
[ancient greece] Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?" Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine." Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be." Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: history, teacher
Spider: Why are you terrified by me? Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident", I just lost it. "CASE DISMISSED!"
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has 85.24 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
Me: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Friend: How? Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
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has 80.60 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, friendship
Me: How do I unsubscribe so I don't get your emails any more? Boss: What?
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has 41.01 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, work

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