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I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1". I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: food
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night. I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum." He said, "I'm not."
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has 61.20 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed. He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!" With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!" Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"
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has 80.73 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant. I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean. I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience. I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it. I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
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has 34.94 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: IT, school
At a parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..." Officer: Yes? Inmate: I think I have.. Officer: Go on. Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence? Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
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has 79.24 % from 52 votes. More jokes about:
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: IT
I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: holiday, travel
Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn't even try it on? Psychic: I'm a medium.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about:
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal

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