My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Q: What do you call a cremated black person? A: 100% cocoa powder.
In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work. Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis. In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back. We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything. Son: Really dad, are you sure? Father: I'm certain.
Yo mama so scary, every time someone throws shots, she calls the police.