Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass? A: He becomes a toblerone!
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot. Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help. Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help. Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned. Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned. Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help. Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening. Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned. Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim. He also did not know what his goal was. Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say? A: "You're cold."
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.