New jokes

I would make a Sodium joke But Na
Vote:
has 43.82 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: chemistry
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed. My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count." Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
Vote:
has 30.19 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: family, kids
My math teacher called me average... How mean!
Vote:
has 38.72 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: math
I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep...
Vote:
has 66.03 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: poems
A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and the day after that, until finally the retiree decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said: "You kids are a lot of fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favour? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing". The boys were more than happy and continued to bang the bins. After a few days, the old man greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "I'm going to have to cut it down to 50 cents a day to keep banging the bins." The kids were obviously unimpressed but they accepted the reduction in payment and continued their afternoon activities. A few days later, the man approached them again. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my payment yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?" "That's it?" the 'drum leader' exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these around for 25 cents each a day, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
Vote:
has 81.20 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: old people, school, student
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"
Vote:
has 77.19 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: money, political
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Vote:
has 79.41 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, women
When can women make you a millionaire? When you're a billionaire.
Vote:
has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: money, women
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
Vote:
has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sport
I tried to get into a trendy New York nightclub last night. The doorman said to me, "Sorry mate, you've had too many". I replied, "What, drinks?" He said, "No, birthdays!"
Vote:
has 66.49 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, old people

What about the funniest jokes?
Have fun with our best jokes, rated by visitors.

<<<5678
More jokes →
Page 5 of 10.