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Drinking all day at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn't make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asks: "what the hell happened?" The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: "my wife gonna be pissed off! She just got me this shirt as an anniversary gift. Soon as she sees puke all over it, she will be shitty!" The bartender, being helpful says: "I got an idea. Why don't you put a $10 bill in the front shirt pocket and when she notices the puke you can say you drove a drunk fella home from the bar and during the drive, he got sick and puked all over the front of your new shirt?" Naturally, the guy felt bad so he gave you the $10 so you could have it cleaned. The drunk looked at the bartender a moment, thinking it over. "That's a great idea, the drunk slurs. Thank you." And the drunk left. When the drunk walked in the front door of his home there stood his wife to greet him. She hugged him and said: "oh my lord Frank, what happened to your new shirt?" He explained: "I drove a drunk fella home from the bar and he puked all over the front of my shirt, patting the pocket, and gave me $10 to get it cleaned." The wife reaches in and pulls the cash from the pocket. "But Frank," the wife says, "there is $20 here." Frank replies, "oh, I forgot to mention, he shit in my pants too."
has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, disgusting, drunk, money
Q: Who invented viagra? A: Mr Hardick of course!
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: medical, viagra
Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?
has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dirty, poems, relationship, sex
Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring. His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
has 81.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
has 51.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.
has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, sex
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter? A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beauty, christian, easter
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat. The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is. The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"
has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, old people, sex, viagra

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