Wedding night confession
Husband: Before we married, I slept with many prostitutes,
Wife: I knew I met you before..
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!"
Grandpa: "Who's playing?"
Grandson: "Austria-Hungary."
Grandpa: "Against who?"
Breaking news: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 23 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
Dad: What is the opposite of ladyfingers?
The family: No idea
Dad: Mentos
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
Vote:
I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
Vote:
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
Vote:
My granddad always used to say;
"As one door closes, another one opens..."
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
Vote:
I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..."
I asked "Are you single?"
She replied "No, I'm a dentist."
What about the funniest jokes?
Have fun with our best jokes, rated by visitors.