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Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Vote: has 37.97 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
Vote: has 48.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
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Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?" Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, phone, work
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
Q: What do ghosts use to phone home? A: A terror-phone.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: phone


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