The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 129 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, school
A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Vote: has 72.34 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, IT, phone, technology
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo
Vote: has 71.74 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, racist
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, phone
H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H - "What's the price?" W - "Only $1,500.00." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." H-"What price did he quote you?" W - "Only $60,000..." H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." H - "What?" W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property." H - "How much are they asking?" W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" H - "Bye...I love u too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Vote: has 71.25 % from 1430 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, phone