The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Vote: has 73.01 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, IT, phone, technology
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Vote: has 72.83 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, phone
H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H - "What's the price?" W - "Only $1,500.00." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." H-"What price did he quote you?" W - "Only $60,000..." H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." H - "What?" W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property." H - "How much are they asking?" W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" H - "Bye...I love u too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Vote: has 71.31 % from 1433 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, phone
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Vote: has 70.62 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, math, phone