The best phone jokes

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: customer service, geography, holiday, phone, stupid
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 68.97 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: phone, weed
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