The best phone jokes

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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More jokes about: men, phone, technology
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
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More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
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More jokes about: blonde, ginger, phone
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
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More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, phone
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
Vote: has 65.03 % from 544 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, wife
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone