The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 68.72 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, phone, travel
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: phone, weed
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
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