The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
Vote: has 71.00 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Vote: has 70.66 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, school
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
Vote: has 69.28 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, phone, technology