The best phone jokes

Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
Vote:
has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, stupid, technology
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Vote:
has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, phone, stupid, technology, wife
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
Your momma so fat when she step on the scales her phone number came up.
Vote:
has 75.33 % from 541 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Vote:
has 75.33 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, phone
What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo
Vote:
has 74.93 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: phone, racist
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
Vote:
has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
Vote:
has 74.64 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: asian, phone, technology
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Vote:
has 74.44 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Vote:
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
<<<4567
More jokes →
Page 4 of 18.