The best phone jokes

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, "I have a new obstetrician."
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: customer service, doctor, phone, time
Your momma so fat when she step on the scales her phone number came up.
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has 75.63 % from 539 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
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has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, stupid, technology
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
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has 74.87 % from 373 votes. More jokes about: asian, phone, technology
What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo
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has 74.81 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: phone, racist
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: communication, phone, stupid, technology, wife
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
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has 74.26 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
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has 74.12 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
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