The best phone jokes

A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."

My iPhone fell from the 20th floor. Good thing it was in airplane mode.

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, "I have a new obstetrician."

Your momma so fat when she step on the scales her phone number came up.

Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."

If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.

Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.

What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."