The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard. A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
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More jokes about: communication, dog, money, phone, work
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
Vote: has 68.97 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT, phone