The best phone jokes

Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: customer service, geography, holiday, phone, stupid
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, phone, racist
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone