The best phone jokes

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'" Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'" Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 376 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, holiday, marriage, nurse, phone
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, phone, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 63.04 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone