The best phone jokes

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, phone, school
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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More jokes about: IT, phone
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, geography, holiday, phone, stupid
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone