The best phone jokes

It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada. He said, Hi. I'm Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.
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has 70.33 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: IT, marriage, phone, religious, technology
A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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has 70.24 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dating, IT, phone, technology
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, stupid, technology
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, lawyer, phone
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
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has 69.49 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, wife
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 67.99 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
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