Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!