Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
The government recently noticed that it had too many generals in the army and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between any two points he chose. The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000. The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes 8 feet. He walked away with a check $960,000. When the third general was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from my index finger of the left foot to the thumb, that's it." The pension man said that would be fine but "My God!" he said, "where is your thumb?!" The general replied, "Back in Iraq!"