A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?"
"We made copies of all the receipts!"
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Vote:
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia.
Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure."
Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..."
What to do?
Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea.
So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?"
The Chinese replies: "Right now!"
Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic...
Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying."
The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
Vote:
We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
A: At least two!
Vote: