It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.