The best political jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, money, political, tax
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
Vote: has 66.30 % from 377 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, sex
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 65.73 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, health, political
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, political, Yo mama
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, military, political
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, music, political