Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President.
Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything.
George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the president of the condom company.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Vote:
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! "
The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before.
This is Air Force One..."
Vote:
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.