The best political jokes

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.
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has 72.45 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: political
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, life, political
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?" "No, I'm still alive."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, political
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
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has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money, new year, political, tax
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case. I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it. He walked and sat down as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness. I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business. This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man. This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!". I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie. Shame almost killed me.
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, money, political
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
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has 70.64 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: fat, political, Yo mama
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: political, time
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life, political, relationship
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