A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying."
The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! "
The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before.
This is Air Force One..."
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