Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying."
The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Vote:
A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency?
He said quickly Obama.
When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
Vote:
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! "
The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before.
This is Air Force One..."
Vote:
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.