We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.