Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
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Joke has 65.78 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, mexican, political, racist, republican
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
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The government recently noticed that it had too many generals in the army and offered an early retirement bonus.
They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between any two points he chose.
The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes 6 feet.
He walked out with a check for $720,000.
The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes 8 feet.
He walked away with a check $960,000.
When the third general was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from my index finger of the left foot to the thumb, that's it."
The pension man said that would be fine but "My God!" he said, "where is your thumb?!"
The general replied, "Back in Iraq!"
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Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?"
"We made copies of all the receipts!"
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden?
Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.