Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A: A tea party.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.