The best prison jokes

What do you call Black people running down a hill? Jail break.
Vote: has 56.31 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, prison
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dentist, prison
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Vote: has 53.18 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, prison
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, prison
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
Vote: has 52.10 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, prison, wife
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 51.36 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Vote: has 49.39 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex, time