Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
Black man says to siri: "Take me home" Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."