Q: When will scientists cure the common cold? A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.