Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.