The best Santa jokes

Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, easter, money, Santa, stupid
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, Santa, tax
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Vote: has 61.37 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, dad, racist, Santa
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Santa