Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.