The best Santa jokes

Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, flirt, romantic, Santa
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa