Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.