Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.