Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
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Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
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If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present.
Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar.
But one kid got only a pair of socks.
A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid:
LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively.
"So what, at least I don't have cancer…"