Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.