Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.