The best Santa jokes

The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: doctor, elf, Santa
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, easter, life, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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has 51.24 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dad, racist, Santa
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
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