The best Santa jokes

The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Vote: has 56.16 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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