The best Santa jokes

Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, morbid, Santa
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Vote: has 57.04 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, Santa, wife
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, elf, Santa
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa