The best school jokes

Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
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has 80.90 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.” Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
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has 80.84 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: school
Billy, learned at school that everybody has secrets. So, he decided to take advantage of it. One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her: "Mommy, mommy! I know everything!" His mom, obviously scared to death: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?" "Okay mommy!" says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face. When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well: "Daddy, daddy! I found out everything!" Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?" "Okay!" says Billy with a bigger smile on his face. The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman. He thought he could try it to him too: "Mr. Focker, I know everything!" The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms: "Then, come... Come closer... My son!"
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has 80.84 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: dad, death, kids, money, school
Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?” Boy: “Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?” Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
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has 80.19 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: school
Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do? Teacher: no, of course not. Jimmy: good, because i didn't do my homework.
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has 80.17 % from 692 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
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has 80.16 % from 382 votes. More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
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has 80.08 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
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has 79.94 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
Little Mary came back home after school and said, "Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!" The mother asked indignantly but in surprise, "And how did this happen?" "It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."
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has 79.82 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
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has 79.44 % from 1094 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
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