The best school jokes

Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
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has 80.49 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do? Teacher: no, of course not. Jimmy: good, because i didn't do my homework.
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has 80.15 % from 691 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
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has 80.01 % from 379 votes. More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
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has 79.98 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?” Boy: “Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?” Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
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has 79.77 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Mary came back home after school and said, "Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!" The mother asked indignantly but in surprise, "And how did this happen?" "It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."
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has 79.51 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
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has 79.37 % from 1090 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today." Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?" Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny." Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised... Teacher: "What happened Johnny?" Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."
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has 79.35 % from 602 votes. More jokes about: racist, school
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
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has 79.35 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
You know your f*cked when the Asian says, "shit", during the test.
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has 79.34 % from 1751 votes. More jokes about: racist, school
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