The best school jokes

Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
Vote:
has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, school
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Vote:
has 78.51 % from 260 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; "Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?" "Yes, man, I did. Why?" "Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?"
Vote:
has 78.46 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: school
One day a boy came home running while crying. His mother asked what happened why are you crying? The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’. His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’. The boy in tears said`my homework’
Vote:
has 78.41 % from 733 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
Vote:
has 78.33 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: school
Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test. Henry: I hope you didn't either.
Vote:
has 78.26 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: school
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
Vote:
has 78.25 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: bird, marriage, school, teacher, work
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
Vote:
has 78.15 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.  Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.  Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.  To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.  There are teachers... and then there are educators.
Vote:
has 78.02 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A student visits the principal's office The principal asks: "What is your name?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david." The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
Vote:
has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: school, student
<<<78910
More jokes →
Page 7 of 40.