The best school jokes

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Vote: has 78.01 % from 279 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, school
Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
Vote: has 77.98 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; "Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?" "Yes, man, I did. Why?" "Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?"
Vote: has 77.97 % from 213 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Vote: has 77.94 % from 243 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Little Mary came back home after school and said, "Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!" The mother asked indignantly but in surprise, "And how did this happen?" "It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."
Vote: has 77.79 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Hispanic. So Johnny says, "Mum, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What does it really matter? You’ll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Johnny’s father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more Hispanic?" asks his dad. "Well, it’s like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, I don’t know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till dark and steel the fucking thing!"
Vote: has 77.54 % from 273 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, little Johnny, money, school
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
Vote: has 77.43 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Students in the class (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) When teacher say tomorrow will be exam (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)(O_O) During the exam (→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→)(←_←) When monitor comes in (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) In the end of the exam (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏)
Vote: has 77.24 % from 303 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.  Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.  Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.  To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.  There are teachers... and then there are educators.
Vote: has 77.18 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?" What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? "Do you want fries with that?"
Vote: has 76.99 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school