The best science jokes

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
An Army Officer with an under-trainee Cadet went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours later, Officer awoke and nudged his cadet. "Charlie, look up and tell me what you see." Charlie replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Officer asked. Watson pondered for a minute and in order to impress his officer said "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that the lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Officer was silent for a minute, and then spoke. "Charlie, you idiot, somebody has stolen our **** tent."
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has 70.72 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: military, science, time
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: IT, science
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, science
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
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has 69.48 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
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has 69.14 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: geek, hunting, math, nerd, science
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
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has 68.81 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, programmer, science, work
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
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