The best science jokes

Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, religious, science
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, stupid
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
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has 72.53 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: math, science
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 71.85 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
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