The best science jokes

A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
has 71.80 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: school, science
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them. A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet." So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex. The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock! It was very similar to the way the aliens did it. The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night. When the human woman saw the alien man undress, she immediately laughed at his "thing." The alien looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot." And he hit his head twice and "it" grew at least two feet. The woman said "Wow! That's impressive, but I could snap that thing if I wanted to." So the alien pulled his ears twice and it expanded. The two had the greatest sex of their lives. The next morning the human man came for his wife and asked, "How was it?" The wife replied, "Great!" The man said, "Well, for some strange reason thealien woman kept jumping on me, pulling my ears and hitting me on the head, screaming, "It's broken! It's broken!"
has 70.59 % from 603 votes. More jokes about: marriage, science, sex
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
has 70.52 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, science
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd, science
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
has 69.97 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
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