The best science jokes

A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Vote: has 73.64 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, science, time, women
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, technology
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Vote: has 72.52 % from 297 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, science