The best science jokes

Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote: has 72.79 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Vote: has 72.79 % from 300 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, science
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, hunting, math, nerd, science
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, religious, science


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