The best science jokes

Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
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More jokes about: life, science
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
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More jokes about: fart, insulting, science, Yo mama
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
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More jokes about: IT, science
There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend. "Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked John. Jack thought for a minute and said. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" After a moment of silence, John spoke. "It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiot." Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said. "Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: friendship, hunting, science, stupid, time
Yo momma so fat, when shes falling out the sky, people thought it was meteor shower.
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More jokes about: fat, science, Yo mama
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
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More jokes about: age, dinosaur, insulting, science, Yo mama
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women


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