Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Vote:
Yo mama so round and fat that she makes an eclipse with the sun.
Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
Vote:
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Your Mother is so fat, her water heater needs a nuclear reactor.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Vote:
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.