Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs. They found two distinct species. They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Your Mother is so fat, her water heater needs a nuclear reactor.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.