Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
Yo mama so fat, the only way scientists found out about space because you could see her from Earth.
They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs. They found two distinct species. They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
Yo momma so fat, when shes falling out the sky, people thought it was meteor shower.
Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.