Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience!
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."