The best science jokes

Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, science
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, science
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, science
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?  A: An IN-body experience!
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, science
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, chemistry, science
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, science, student
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, science