The best science jokes

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
has 64.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
Q: What did one magnet say to the other? A: I find you very attractive.
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, science
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, science
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, science
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her.
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, stupid
Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: death, dinosaur, fat, science, Yo mama
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: school, science, student
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