The best science jokes

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: school, science, student
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, science
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
has 63.49 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space? A: Moonopoly.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, science, work
Yo mama so fat she was the meteor that killed the dinos.
has 62.46 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, dinosaur, fat, science, Yo mama
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, science
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, science, Yo mama
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
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