Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.