The best sex jokes

Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 77.90 % from 406 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”
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has 77.86 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, doctor, sex, women
How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 77.78 % from 544 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
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has 77.69 % from 542 votes. More jokes about: sex
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
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has 77.64 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, sex
16 and Pregnant. 15 and Fucking. 14 and Sucking. 13 and Licking. 12 and Fingering. 11 and Touching. 9 and Kissing. 8 and Wondering. Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
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has 77.55 % from 1726 votes. More jokes about: age, sex
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
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has 77.53 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: communication, sex
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?" "Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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has 77.53 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex
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