The best sex jokes

Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
Vote: has 77.96 % from 1096 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist, sex
How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Vote: has 77.92 % from 533 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
Vote: has 77.92 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Vote: has 77.91 % from 416 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, medical, money, sex, viagra
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
Vote: has 77.67 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, geography, sex, travel, women
16 and Pregnant. 15 and Fucking. 14 and Sucking. 13 and Licking. 12 and Fingering. 11 and Touching. 9 and Kissing. 8 and Wondering. Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
Vote: has 77.61 % from 1698 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, sex
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
Vote: has 77.52 % from 533 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris, sex, women