How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them.
One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
There were three nurses in a morgue...
They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on.
The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste".
After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it.
The 2nd nurse did the same.
The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period.
After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it.
After 3 minutes the man woke up.
The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago"
The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed.
When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle.
What's your age?
70.
You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night.
‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor.
The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
I'm like happy meal.
"Coz you are small and pretty?"
"No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.
Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.