The best sex jokes

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 75.05 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
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has 75.00 % from 388 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
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has 74.92 % from 625 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town.
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has 74.85 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: sex, wife
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 74.80 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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has 74.78 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: sex
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
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has 74.69 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: sex
Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence. All three pronounced their loyalty. That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers. The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace. He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine. The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed. The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished. "Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
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has 74.64 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: dirty, political, sex
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.64 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: sex
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, sex, time, weather
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