Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, " All right, now give me my money!" The Koala replied, " Money, what for?" " What for?", the Prostitute growled, "Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says." So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary. It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex." " Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says." So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary. It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
On wedding night, during sex: Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before. Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...