The best sex jokes

A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colours,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what colour are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’ replies his wife. ‘It would be nice if you came second for a change!’
Vote: has 74.19 % from 245 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"
Vote: has 74.04 % from 493 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, sex, wife
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Vote: has 73.96 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Vote: has 73.91 % from 470 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sex, work
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
Vote: has 73.88 % from 263 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town.
Vote: has 73.83 % from 333 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, wife
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Vote: has 73.74 % from 186 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Vote: has 73.64 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, sex, single