The best sex jokes

My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
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has 73.25 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 73.23 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 73.22 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: sex
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
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has 73.21 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, wife
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.18 % from 385 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
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has 73.12 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, sex, time, weather
The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’
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has 73.11 % from 708 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
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has 73.11 % from 380 votes. More jokes about: sex
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
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has 73.06 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: sex
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
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has 72.96 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
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