The best sex jokes

Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
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has 72.96 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
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has 72.90 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’
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has 72.89 % from 698 votes. More jokes about: sex
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
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has 72.81 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
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has 72.80 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: democrat, sex
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
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has 72.59 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean, sex
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
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has 72.51 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, sex
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