The best sex jokes

A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
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More jokes about: animal, life, sex
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote: has 73.25 % from 806 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, wife
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
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More jokes about: sex
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote: has 73.20 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
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More jokes about: car, money, sex, work
A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: Daddy, where did I come from to this life? You were brought by a stork. That's strange, you have such a pretty wife, but nevertheless you're fucking a stork.
Vote: has 73.08 % from 267 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
Vote: has 73.02 % from 639 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, business, dad, dog, sex
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Vote: has 72.93 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay, love, sex
Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
Vote: has 72.92 % from 397 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sex