Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Three men were in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said, "I died in a car accident." The second man said, "I died by drowning." The third man said, "I died of seenus." The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?" The third man said, "No, I mean SEENUS. I was out with my best friend’s wife and he seen us!"
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.