The best sex jokes

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
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has 74.69 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. Another demon came up to him and asked: "Why the glum look, man?" The man replied: "Well I just died and now I'm in hell." But the demon just smiled and said: "Don't feel bad, it's not a bad thing at all. Do you like smoking?" the demon asked. The man's face lit up and he answered; "Yeah!" "Well on Mondays we all get together and smoke till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Alright!" creid the man. "Do you like drinking?" the demon asked. "Yeah!" The man answered. "Well on Wednesdays we all get together and drink till we die. The best thing is, we're already dead!" the demon answered. "Sweet!" cried the man. "Are you gay?" asked the demon. The man frowned and said: "No." The demon replied: "Oh, then you're gonna hate Saturdays..."
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has 74.69 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, death, sex
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
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has 74.67 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.64 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: sex
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
My husband told me to find him the best penis enlargement product. So I gave him a magnifying glass!
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has 74.51 % from 648 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 74.46 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 74.45 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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has 74.44 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, morbid, sex, women
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