The best sport jokes

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
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has 78.66 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, golf, sport
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
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has 78.65 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 77.76 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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has 77.25 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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has 77.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!" Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
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has 76.87 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: sport
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
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has 76.82 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: football, sport, stupid, Yo mama
Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
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has 76.36 % from 2198 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, sport
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
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has 76.14 % from 515 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sport, Yo mama
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