The best sport jokes

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.
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has 78.38 % from 1340 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, sport
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
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has 77.53 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sport, wife
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!" Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
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has 77.24 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: sport
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, time
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 76.80 % from 456 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
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has 76.64 % from 248 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
Yo' mama so fat, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
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has 75.84 % from 526 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sport, Yo mama
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
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