The best sport jokes

On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.” The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: game, sport, time
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: sport
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde. So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
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has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish, sport
Three heavyweight men; an American, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building. The American jumped off and shouted "God save America!" The English man jumped off and shouted "God Save The Queen!" The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted "God save the person who I land on!''
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has 73.19 % from 349 votes. More jokes about: god, sport
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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has 73.02 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
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has 72.88 % from 1188 votes. More jokes about: black people, sport, white people
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer. Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, sport
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