A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.