A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What sports team is the least safe around children? A: The Nashville Predators.