The best sport jokes

Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”. So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde. So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish, sport
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
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has 71.99 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: pirate, sport
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: sport
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don’t stop fooling around, we won’t bring you next time."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sport
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: fat, geography, insulting, sport, Yo mama
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.04 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
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has 70.95 % from 842 votes. More jokes about: black people, sport, white people
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